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If you know anything about Nintendo, video games, or internet culture in general, you've probably heard of him. You've probably heard his name murmured with reverence and respect. It's not uncommon, upon hearing those magical words, to get goosebumps.
Reggie Fils-Aimé (Former President of Nintendo of America)
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It is the year 2550. Nearly 600 years ago Russia surpassed the United States of America in the space race, completing man’s first and last moon landing. Since then, human society has evolved, united, mastered various fields of science, and perfected no-spill sippy cups. However, despite all of his achievements, man has never once left Earth’s atmosphere since Russia’s moon landing in 1960.
This is a story about me slaying a beast. Not a cool beast, like a bear or coyote or even a metaphorical beast, like depression or cancer or a crippling Steam holiday sale debt, but still a beast just the same. “What more left is there to slay?” One might ask. The answer? Not a lot.
Clover,
I'm going to try to put this in the gentlest way possible. I would really appreciate it if you tried to stop eating so much. Actually, no. This isn't your decision. As a concerned friend that is worried about your health, I demand that you cut down on your food intake. If you don't, you will die. You ask me for food in the morning and I feed you. I'm supposed to give you half a cup, but I sometimes give you three quarters of a cup. I'm trying to make this transition as easy for you as possible but you're not making it easy for me. You should be thankful, but no. Thirty minutes later you're hungry again. This doesn't happen to anyone but you. Maybe if you ate your food slowly instead of absorbing it all in a matter of seconds you would have more food to eat later on, when you’re actually hungry. You'd also stop puking/pooping on the floor next to the couch so much. This could be good for you. You just need to accept the concept of savoring your meals. |
